December Waiting – Defeated lyrics

I'm writing you this song to tell you how I feel
I've always found it hard
I don't want to end up drowning in the darkness
You said you'd never leave
Don't ever feel that you have let me down
I do that by myself
Searching for something I'll never find in this lifetime
Faith has long since moved on
Broken with my heart
I'm defeated by my conscience
Lost in the true sense.